Tag Archives: Jennette Marie Powell

Getting Back in the Game

Time to post new goals! The second quarter of the year begins today (no fooling!), and with it, Round 2 of ROW80.

First of all, I’d like to thank those who’ve offered encouragement over the past few weeks! It means a lot to me, and really did help me keep going in what small measures I did. That is one of the best things about ROW80, is that there’s always someone to cheer us on when we’re doing well, and someone to commiserate when the going gets tough. I’m not a sponsor this round, but I do plan to visit plenty of ROW80 folks and give that all-important encouragement!

My writing goals kind of fizzled last round. I spend most of March sick and/or in a drugged stupor, and did well to get anything done at my day job (which I did). By the time I got home, no energy, mental or otherwise, for writing, workouts, or much of anything else.

2013-03-31_21-27-28_462 I did get a lot of progress made on the prom dress. Unfortunately, we were not able to really determine fit until I got this far, and we discovered that it’s too big. Most of this is the length of the bodice; my daughter’s short like me. This is a vintage 1950s pattern, and those didn’t have the easy places to lengthen/shorten like modern patterns do. So there’s some taking apart and redoing coming up this week. My daughter’s prom is the last weekend in April (and the following weekend too – her boyfriend goes to a different school), so I need to really get cracking on this. I also have a website design for a family member’s startup business that’s been put off due to me being sick. Therefore, I’m going to start with small writing goals, but mostly focus on the dress and website design.

Writing goals for this round are going to focus on new words. For the overall challenge, I’d like to work up to 5,000/week. I’ve done 12k/week for NaNoWriMo, so this should be easily doable for me-except for the other priorities I have going. But that’s later. For this week, let’s start simple:

The giveaway has ended. Thanks for your interest!
Dress: rework for fit and complete overdress portion (it has an underskirt and petticoats as well)
Web design: simple placeholder home page design
Writing: 1,500 words on short story

The best thing about ROW80 is we can change our goals as circumstances change, so that’s what I’ll be doing if need be. Here’s hoping I don’t have any of the kind of setbacks last month was, and hoping for the same for you! Whether or not you’re doing ROW80, what goals do you have for the next three months – or heck, for this week? I’d love to hear from you!

Jennette Marie Powell writes stories about ordinary people in ordinary places, who do extraordinary things and learn that those ordinary places are anything but. In her Saturn Society novels, unwilling time travelers do what they must to make things right... and change more than they expect. You can find her books at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords, Kobo, iTunes, and more.

Sometimes Life Forces us to Slow Down

I did not accomplish any of my goals this week, although I came close on the dress.

I am still sick. What’s worse, I discovered I’m not really sick.

I started taking a new (to me) medication for my migraines a month ago. This was not without a bit of trepidation, because the list of potential side effects from this stuff is about three miles long. But I figured it was worth a try.

It’s worked great on my headaches; it’s even zapped my muscle-tension neck pain. I was feeling great until I came down with this nasty cold about two weeks ago. But I was looking up something about the medication the other day, and saw one side effect I hadn’t noticed before: “flu-like symptoms.”

Are you freakin’ kidding me? Hmm, what a choice: headaches, or being sick all the time??? Not to mention, I have plenty to do at the day job too, and my family has been more than patient at home. They are truly a blessing. But forget doing anything creative, like writing.

This medication is definitely not for me, so I am talking to the doctor about going off it (it’s one of those you can’t just stop taking). So I hope to be back in the game by the next round of ROW80.

What about you – have you had any unexpected slowdowns forced on you lately? If you’re doing ROW80, how did you do you your goals? Will you be back in April?

Sometimes, you’re more prepared than you think you are, and ROW80

The giveaway has ended. Thanks for your interest!

More than once, my high-school age daughter has been stressing over a test, and I’ve told her about the time I thought I was totally unprepared for a final in college.

I was a freshman, and studying for a Political Science exam. It was late at night, I was drinking a wine cooler (because my roommate had thoughtfully obtained it for me, having a fake ID), and I was tired. I finished the wine cooler, realized I wasn’t retaining anything I was reading, and finally said heck with it, I’m going to bed.

When I went to take the exam the following morning, it wasn’t that hard.

When my grades arrived in the mail the following week, I had an A.

I gave a presentation on formatting ebooks to my RWA chapter yesterday. I didn’t put the slideshow together until the night before. Now I know some of you reading this are thinking, so? Well, that’s not my usual M.O. I do not wait until the last minute any more. For me, that way lies madness. But this past week, I’ve had a cold that’s been kicking my butt, and it’s been all I could do to go to work and finish my writing workshop exercises. So I completed the presentation Friday night, but I didn’t feel it was that good. I kept thinking I needed to add some material about print books, but I just couldn’t muster up the energy to do it.

On Saturday, I gave the presentation, and it went very well! I think I talked more than I coughed. Several people there coughed almost as much as I did, so the group was very understanding. My chapter mates asked some excellent questions, and the presentation took just the right amount of time. No need to fill in with the print stuff.

Sometimes our subconscious knows we’re prepared, even when we think we’re not.

In the case of ROW80, however, I didn’t need my subconscious to tell me how I fared. I know I missed one of my goals, but that’s OK. Here’s how it went:

Finish assignment for online writing workshop – Done!
Finish hand-sewing for prom dress in steps 1-8 – No.
List ten more things that could happen in the new book – Done!
Finish presentation plans and handouts for RWA chapter presentation, and PRESENT it on Saturday – Done!

Well, three out of four isn’t bad, especially being not 100% health-wise. The bad news there is, the ladies in my RWA chapter who’ve had what sounds like the same thing, say it took three weeks to really shake. So I’m going to not worry about workouts for now. I also need to really get working on the dress.

Review first half of writing workshop
Finish hand-sewing for prom dress, and work through step 16
Write another 1000 words on one story started in workshop

Getting that presentation out of the way is a big relief, but more importantly, giving it was FUN! What about you – What about you? Whether or not you’re doing the ROW, how are your plans going? And more importantly, are you having FUN with them?

WANA Wednesday is back with Exciting New Releases! plus ROW80 update

smallsultry While I was away on blog holiday, my writing friends were busy! I have four releases to share this week. First up is one from my RWA chapter buddy, Macy Beckett, who also presented with me at the Dayton Metro Library a couple weeks ago! A Shot of Sultry is #2 in her Sultry Springs series, about West Coast filmmaker Bobbi Gallagher, for whom going back to Sultry Springs is a last resort. But with her career in tatters, a quick trip to her hometown might get Bobbi the footage she needs to salvage her reputation. She just can’t let anything distract her again. Not even the gorgeous contractor her brother asked to watch over her. Golden boy Trey Lewis is a leading man if Bobbi ever saw one. He’s strong and confident and–much to her delight–usually shirtless. But if he thinks keeping his best friend’s baby sister out of trouble will be easy, he has no idea of the trouble in store for him… Visit Macy’s website for more info and buy links.

Mystery author KB Owen released her debut novel a couple weeks ago. Dangerous and Unseemly: A Concordia Wells Mystery, is an unseemly lesson in murder. The year is 1896, and Professor Concordia Wells has her hands full: teaching classes, acting as live-in chaperone to a cottage of lively female students, and directing the student play, Macbeth.

But mystery and murder are not confined to the stage. Malicious pranks, arson, money troubles, and the apparent suicide of a college official create turmoil at the women’s college. For Concordia, it becomes personal when a family member dies of a mysterious illness, and her best friend is attacked and left for dead.

With her friend still in danger and her beloved school facing certain ruin, Concordia knows that she must act. But uncovering secrets is a dangerous business, and there are some who do not appreciate the unseemly inquiries and bold actions of the young lady professor. Can she discover the ones responsible…before she becomes the next target? Visit KB’s website for more info and buy links.

Last week also saw a YA debut from Coleen Patrick, with Come Back to Me. In this contemporary story, Whitney Denison can’t wait to start over. She thought she had everything under control, that her future would always include her best friend Katie… Until everything changed. Now her life in Bloom is one big morning after hangover, filled with regret, grief, and tiny pinpricks of reminders that she was once happy. A happy she ruined. A happy she can’t fix. So, she is counting down the days until she leaves home for Colson University, cramming her summer with busywork she didn’t finish her senior year, and taking on new hobbies that involve glue and glitter, and dodging anyone who reminds her of her old life.

When she runs into the stranger who drove her home on graduation night, after she’d passed out next to a ditch, she feels herself sinking again. The key to surviving the summer in Bloom is unraveling whatever good memories she can from that night. But in searching for answers, she’ll have to ask for help and that means turning to Evan, the stranger, and Kyle, Katie’s ex-boyfriend. Suddenly, life flips again, and Whitney finds herself on not only the precipice of happy but love, too, causing her to question whether she can trust her feelings, or if she is falling into her old patterns of extremes. As she uncovers the truth about her memories, Whitney sees that life isn’t all or nothing, and that happy isn’t something to wait for, that instead, happy might just be a choice. Visit Coleen’s website for more info and buy links.

purple SF/Fantasy author and editor Marcy Kennedy also gave us an unexpected treat and is offering a free e-copy of her short story “Purple” to anyone who signs up for her mailing list on her newly-revamped website. “Purple” is a thriller, and won the Writers Digest Popular Fiction Competition in 2008. It’s not a new release, but I haven’t read it, and if Marcy’s blog content is anything to go by, it’ll be a great read for sure. It’s free, so what do you have to lose? Head over to her website and sign up!

The giveaway has ended. Thanks for your interest!

Quick ROW80 Update: Yes, those are back too, even though I don’t have much to report in this area. I’ve done part of my writing workshop assignment, and have some notes made for the workshop I’m presenting on Saturday. I normally don’t get much done in the early part of the week anyway, and this week I’m still fighting this cold, AND dealing with the time change – UGH.

What about you? Are you up for some mystery or a bit of romance? Have you grabbed “Purple” yet? Who besides me thinks it’s time we just dispense with this nonsense, and either stick with standard or daylight time year ’round? I’d love to hear from you!

Is it Time to Fire that Bad Boss?

I’m baaaaaaaccckkkk! Well, okay, for the three or four of you who noticed I haven’t posted anything but Sunday ROW80 updates for the past two weeks.

Stress–it’s not pretty

I needed a blog break. I haven’t taken one in over a year, other than when I was in France. And let me tell you, it was great. I learned a lot–like how we need to ask ourselves the right questions in order to find the answers we need. For me, that was “Am I having fun?” My commenters had some great suggestions too, like “Is it worth it?” and “Why am I doing this?” and “Where can I find some inspiration?”

I was also reminded that when we’re feeling stressed, it’s because we feel we don’t have choices. But the fact is, when we look at our to-do list, we have more choices than we think. Psychologist-author Kassandra Lamb outlined this fantastically in her post “Whaddya Mean, Good Things are Still Stressful?” Absolutely worth the read! Go check it out, I’ll wait.

Back? OK. One of those things I had on my “have to” list was blogging. I know consistency is important to build up a readership and build up my store of content here, but it was getting so that I felt half of my weekend was being taken up by 1) writing the blogs, after 2) procrastinating writing the blogs and 3) researching for the blogs, especially the My Town Monday blogs. Don’t get me wrong, I love sharing things about my hometown that are cool, because that’s so not the image most people have about Dayton, but writing those blogs can be a lot of work. And it was starting to not be fun any more.

Same went for things like getting on Facebook and Twitter, and even outlining my next book! Yet the more I procrastinated, the guiltier I felt… yet the more all I wanted to do was sit at my computer and play more time management games. And then felt guiltier about that. I notice most of the blogs I follow don’t religiously post on the exact same topics, the exact same two or three days every week, and I don’t think any worse of these writers for it. So why do I expect this of myself?

So I took some time off all of the above, and I realized no one had a problem with it… except me. I was my own worst boss.

My boss at the day job does not act like this. He’s probably the most easy-going guy I have ever worked for. He gives me something to do, then leaves me alone to do it. When I present my work, he lets me know in a very matter-of-fact, non-judgmental way, what’s good, and what needs to be changed. As long as the work gets done, he really doesn’t care how I spend every minute of the day. He doesn’t care when I get to the office, or when I leave, as long as I put in the time I charge to my time sheet required by the company and our client. He doesn’t care if I spend time reading up on some technology that will help me to better do my job, as long as the work gets done. As far as scheduling goes, it’s up to me to set my schedule, and if it turns out something needs to change, I can change it. Everyone should have it so good! The only tricky part is that he has so much going on, he’s hard to track down when I need some direction or have a question, but I’ll take that with the good.

I decided it’s time my writing boss is like this. So here is a message for the outgoing one, because no one can say “You’re Fired!” like the WWE’s Vince McMahon:

And oh – as you might have guessed, my posting might not be as regular from here out – or it might! It depends on what else I have going on, and if I have something to say! I will definitely continue doing My Town Monday posts, because I enjoy them, just not as regularly. Same goes for WANA Wednesday! I do have some fun new releases to share this week, so see you in a couple of days!

What about you? Are you too hard on yourself, whether you’re a writer or not? Do you have a tyrant of a boss who needs to be fired? Feel free to show him or her this video! And please share – I’d love to hear from you!

ROW80: When it’s Fun, it’s Not Work

There’s a lot to be said for asking the right question. As I discussed last week, “How bad do you want it” might be motivating to some, but only served to make me feel like I was never doing enough, and that perhaps a better question was “Am I having fun?”

The giveaway has ended. Thanks for your interest!

I really think that we put too much pressure on ourselves, and that those expectations come from no one else. I’m going to talk about this more tomorrow, so come back. I am not someone who has fun working under pressure. But if there’s not so much pressure, it can be fun.

Last week, I did indeed have fun, and I met most of my ROW80 goals, too! Here’s how it went:

Continue keeping up with writing workshop – Done!
Some kind of physical activity 3x – even if just for five minutes! – Done! Actually, I did four workouts, for 15-20 minutes each. Would have done a fifth, but came down with a cold toward the end of the week.
Begin sewing dress through Step 8 of instructions – mostly done. There turned out to be more hand sewing than I thought, and that is time-consuming, so didn’t quite get it all.
List ten things that could happen in the new book – they don’t have to be good ideas, just something! – Done! And it was fun. 🙂

This week, I’m going to continue taking it easy on fitness, since I’m still fighting off this cold. If I get some workouts in, I’ll consider them a bonus. I’m also going to continue taking it easy on the new book, since I am presenting a workshop on ebook formatting at my local RWA chapter this Saturday, and I need to finish the handout materials and plan the presentation for that. I’ve already watched the videos and done part of this week’s assignment for the online writing workshop, so that helps. So here are this week’s goals:

Finish assignment for online writing workshop.
Finish hand-sewing for prom dress in steps 1-8.
List ten more things that could happen in the new book.
Finish presentation plans and handouts for RWA chapter presentation, and PRESENT it on Saturday!

What about you? Whether or not you’re doing the ROW, how are your plans going? Have you had to change plans recently? And more importantly, are you having FUN with them?

ROW80: Rest with me, won’t you?

This has been a tough week for me, writing-wise. I’ve been beating on this story that I’ve been sure was the next thing I wanted to write, for over a month now, and it just won’t gel. I put in all of fifteen minutes on it last week, going through the motions of doing a couple exercises in Holly Lisle’s Create a Plot Clinic. Even that was difficult. I just don’t want to do it, and it’s time I admitted that.

Trouble is, I’m not sure why I don’t want to work on this story. Maybe I was never excited enough about it to begin with. Or maybe there’s a problem in the story itself, that I haven’t chosen the right main character, I’m too focused on theme (a first for me), or some other story problem I haven’t yet figured out. But I was encouraged and gratified to find the following post on women’s fiction author Anna DeStefano’s blog today:

Today, Sunday, is a blog about the very hard work of resting. As exhausting as it is to put on a show the rest of the week, a Sunday of rest can be just as challenging.

Top priorities (for writers and readers and livers of life of all variations) include discovering core truths for our resting selves such as the following:

If you were the only one in your life, what would spend your Sunday doing?

If you could do only one thing today, and there were days left to do anything else, what things would disappear off your to-do list forever?

If you couldn’t speak or spend time with another person today, what one thing would bring you the most joy and satisfaction?

If you had all the money or resources or whatever else you needed to make whatever your dream for this day of rest come true, what dream would you leave all the rest behind to achieve?

If you were free of all other expectations, if there were no consequences on your horizon tomorrow, what would you want most to have achieved by the end of this Sunday?

No matter how big or how small or how taxing your own private, personal, inner dream for this day might be, pursue it. That’s the work that the best rests are made of. It’ s a start at least, telling yourself you can have what feeds you most, no matter the nurturing everyone else in your life needs. We have to feed the inner beast every now and then, so she’s ready to take on all those outward needs I eliminated in the list above, because they’re about everyone else and not the us resting days should be about protecting.

via The Soul of the Matter: Sunday, Sunday…Rest with me, won’t you? « Anna DeStefano’s Blog.

I think this is what I need to do. Thank you, Anna, for giving me permission to step back, regroup, and relax.

As for ROW80, I still managed to make some progress:

Two plot exercises for my next book – made a half-assed attempt at one, but not much.
Fitness activity 5x – got 4 activities in
Send out press release for Time’s Enemy – Done!
Assignment for writing workshop, week 2 – Done!
Re-dye the lace for prom dress, and cut one of the four fabrics in it – Done!

This week, I’m going to step back, reevaluate, and relax. I’m also dealing with switching my migraine medications, which might make it tough to do much physical activity. I’ll still look to do my workouts, but if I’m not feeling well, I’ll give myself a break. So here are the plans:

Assignment for writing workshop, week 3 (having fun with this, so no problems there)
Cut the rest of the fabric for the prom dress
BONUS – activity and/or any progress on the new book, decisions made, etc.

What about you – do you ever need to just step back, regroup, and take it easy? What did you think of Anna DeStefano’s suggestions? If you’re participating in ROW80, how’s it going?

Beauty of a Woman: Don’t judge us by our covers!

It’s long been said that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but you know what? We do. Everyone does.

Sometimes, it’s reasonable–if a publisher or independent author didn’t care enough about the book to give it a decent, professional cover, how good can it be? But the fact is, plenty a wonderful book has been published with a plain, poorly-executed, or inappropriate cover.

What’s really sad is we do this with people – especially women. Yes, we do. Everyone does.

There are men in my life who, as much as I love them, are really bad about this. Every story, every incident related, if it concerns a female, begins with an assessment of her looks:

“This little girl came into the bar–she was as cute as a button, just turned eighteen–her friends left her and she needed a ride home.”

See how that worked? The first thing he focused on was her appearance. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the man in question got a female friend and the two of them drove the girl home. But still… what did her looks have to do with her plight?

It isn’t just men, either. By the time we’ve spent more than a couple decades on this earth, we figure out that the guys don’t really care that much what we wear, how our hair’s styled, or if our makeup is perfect. We dress to impress other women. How many times have you heard one say, “Oh God, I can’t believe she’s wearing that.” Or “Why doesn’t she do something about her teeth?” Or make a disparaging comment about someone’s weight?

Women in the public eye have it even worse. Sure, the appearance, clothing and polish of Hollywood personalities at awards ceremonies are analyzed to death whether they’re men or women. But the women are analyzed a lot more, and come under a lot more criticism, whether their outfit was too dowdy or too skanky, how much she’s showing her age, and oh noes, does she have a bit of a belly bulge??? Even women who are famous for something completely unrelated to looks are judged by them: “She’s a fat cow, but she’s a good golfer.” The men in my family don’t dis Hillary Clinton for her policies, but for her looks.

Stop judging us by our covers!

Well, I say it’s time to stop the madness. Stop judging us on looks!

That heavyset woman you’re making fat jokes about? May be the kindest and most generous person you’ll ever meet–and one of the most beautiful.

That homely chick at the office with the frumpy clothes may be the person who knows everything that’s going on and keeps the place organized and moving forward. She’s beautiful because she pulls everyone together and helps them all to succeed.

The mentally-challenged girl who’s socially awkward and can’t speak clearly? Probably knows more about unconditional love than most of us will learn in a lifetime.

That middle-aged woman in jeans and a sweatshirt who doesn’t bother with makeup may be developing software that will save the government millions of dollars (we can hope, right? 😀 ). That “old hag” may be the person who gives your children a lifelong love of learning, and turns them onto a path of success or serving others. That ugly-tired soccer mom is tired because she’s raising the next generation, and teaching them to be responsible adults. They’re beautiful in their passion for what they do, and what they do for others.

And Hillary Clinton? Hate her policies if you don’t agree with them, but for heaven’s sake, give the woman a break. She’s in her mid-sixties and spent four years as the United States’ Secretary of State, what has to be one of the most stressful jobs on the planet. Like her or not, she’s strong and tough, and beautiful for that.

What do you think? Do notice people judging others on appearance? Do you ever catch yourself doing the same? Please share – I’d love to hear from you! It’s something I have to work on, too.

This blog is part of the Beauty of a Woman Blogfest 2013, sponsored by August McLaughlin. Be sure to check out her site and visit other blogs celebrating all of the beauty that is a woman! Even better, get a chance to win a Kindle fire with each comment here and on other participating blogs!

Photo credit: Microsoft Office Clipart
Note: the beautiful women described above are just examples; none are meant to be anyone I know. Well, except maybe the software developer. 😀

WANA Wednesday: Romance of all Kinds, Fun for Kids, and ROW80

This week’s new releases look like good ones! My RWA-chapter buddy Sharon Cullen released her new historical romance last week, The Notorious Lady Anne. It’s the story of Nicholas Addison, celebrated captain of the Blackwell Shipping Fleet, who has agreed to take Mrs. Emmaline Sutherland aboard the Pride and ferry the raven-haired beauty across the Atlantic on what he imagines will be a routine trip. But when the ship is attacked by pirates, the seemingly innocent passenger is revealed to be none other than the infamous marauder Lady Anne, whose name strikes fear in the hearts of sailors everywhere—and whose seductive wiles commandeers Nicholas’s affections.

Lady Anne, a legend of the high seas, has spent the last eleven years plotting revenge against her father, the owner of Blackwell Shipping. She’s targeted the Pride in hopes of plundering its captain’s company secrets. But beneath her fierce courage and bitter determination, Anne has the delicate heart of a woman—a heart that cannot help falling for Nicholas. Now Anne must make a difficult choice: bring down Blackwell or surrender to love.

The Notorious Lady Anne was featured in USA Today last week too! For more information and buy links, visit her website.

5-minute Love Stories Looking for a bite-sized read? Check out Five-Minute Love Stories by the Los Angeles Romance Authors, which includes “Finding Julian” by Debra Kristi. In these busy and hectic times, sometimes you just need a few minutes to relax and escape the world, written by some of the shining stars and exciting new voices in Los Angeles.

This anthology of twenty-two short stories explores the many sides of love, featuring love in the traditional sense while several stories show love in broader terms, love of family, love of a pet, and even a super-spicy love story.

For more info, see Debra Kristi’s blog or Amazon.

TroopMonkesy Children’s author Julie Hedlund celebrates the release of her debut storybook app, A Troop is a Group of Monkeys. It’s an interactive book for kids that introduces some of the fun plural nouns for animal groups (like “a pride of lions”) in a musical, rhyming story. Written by Julie Hedlund and illustrated by Pamela Baron, the app features original music by Tim McCanna, whose ditty you won’t be able to stop humming until long after the book is closed.

Each of the animal groups—a troop of monkeys, a colony of bats—comes to life on the screen and invites young readers to enjoy interactive play while reinforcing the vocabulary words on each page. The crocodiles snap their jaws, and the lions lick their paws. What do you suppose the skunks will do? More information is on Julie’s website or on the Apple iTunes store.

a-harry-situation-cover-1 We have a new release in contemporary romance, too – A Harry Situation by Kristy K. James. In this book, Harry Saunders, the new employee for C & J Construction, turned out to be a woman, and the only thing Chris Parker wanted was to fire her. In his opinion, there was no place for females in this business. But labor laws meant that she stayed, making him nothing but miserable. Until he discovers a secret she’s been keeping from everyone. A secret that brings out every protective instinct he possesses. More info is available on Kristy’s website.

Quick ROW80 update: we’ve re-dyed the lace, and it’s now lavender! I’ve also completed part one of my writing workshop assignment, and put in an hour on prewriting for my next work. Fitness is also on-track so far, with two workouts in.

On another note, something exciting is happening on Friday, Feb. 22: The Beauty of a Woman Blogfest! Sponsored by thriller author August McLaughlin, this event features dozens of bloggers all writing about what the beauty of a woman truly is. I don’t normally post on Friday, but this week, I’ll be posting my BOAW contribution on a thoughtful and important topic. So be sure to check back here then, and stop by August’s blog for links to all other blogs AND a chance to win a Kindle Fire!

What about you – do you like historical romance? How about super short stories? Have you ever heard of storybook apps? If you’re participating in ROW80 (or heck, even if you’re not!), how are you doing on your goals so far this week? Are you participating in the Beauty of a Woman blogfest, or planning to stop by and read? I hope to see you there! Let me know – I’d love to hear from you!

Misfit Monday: Is it weird to not like parties?

I have a confession to make: I am not overly fond of big parties.

This is especially true if the majority of the people there are people I don’t know; more so if they’re people I don’t have a lot in common with.

Is this weird? It isn’t if you’re an introvert like me (and like most writers). But I didn’t always know that, and so, when I was reluctant to attend a big gathering, or if I wanted to leave soon after arriving, I wondered what was wrong with me.

I’d much rather do this than go to a big party! (photo credit: Wikipedia Commons, Creative Commons license)

The thing is, if you’re an introvert, spending a lot of time in large groups of people is mentally draining. (For extroverts, it’s the other way around: not being around people is draining.) The more people there who I don’t know, or don’t have much in common with, the more draining it is. I feel like I have to be “on” all the time – upbeat and friendly, even if I’m tired or don’t know what to say.

My husband is 100% my opposite in this way. He’s totally an extrovert, one of those people who never met a stranger. He can strike up a conversation with anyone, and the fact that I’m not thrilled to go to big parties where I don’t know a lot of people is something that baffles him. How could I not enjoy it? (Add to that: I don’t drink much alcohol–not because I have a problem with drinking in general, but it takes very little to make me feel really bad. So being the only sober person in a roomful of people is even less fun.)

I used to think “introverted” was synonymous with “shy.” So when I wanted to cringe at the thought of going out to a bar one more night (because when I was young and single, I didn’t have much else to do), I wondered what was wrong with me. Because the thing is, I’m not shy. Once I get to know someone, and like hanging out with them, I don’t have a hard time talking to them.

Most of the time I went anyway, because I wanted to meet people. A good thing, too, for that’s how I ended up meeting my husband–at a bar, LOL. (Yes, it happens! For the whole story, see How I Met My Husband.) It helped a great deal that I’d recently taken the Dale Carnegie Course, where most of the people were introverts, and we learned ways to strike up conversations with people we didn’t know, ways to take an interest in others.

Of course for many authors who write romance, the national conference of Romance Writers of America is nothing but one party after another. Yes, I’ve gone. A couple years ago, I went with my main goal being to meet people and have fun. And I did! That’s not to say I didn’t need some down time between events, but it wasn’t bad at all. Of course at an RWA event, there are always a question that can break the ice: “What do you write?”

Kristin Bailey/Jess Granger (middle) signs a book for a reader while Stacy McKitrick (right) and I watch.

Reader events are fun, too, with the main difference being a slight change in the guaranteed question to “What do you like to read?” I attended one of these on Saturday, a panel discussion at a branch of the Dayton Metro Library. I shared the panel with four of my RWA chapter friends, and several people in the audience also were writers. Writing is something I can always talk about! But usually, I prefer one-on-one, or small groups.

What about you – are you an introvert or extrovert, or a little of both? What kind of gatherings do you enjoy most? Have you confused “shy” with “introverted” before? Is it weird to not enjoy parties? Please tell me I’m not alone–I’d love to hear from you!